


The Wrong Room

by WindInYourSail



Series: Random Barba One Shots [3]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Emotional Roller Coaster, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Guilt, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, I’m a sucker for a happy ending, Jet Lag, Mistaken Identity, Siena, Unrequited Love, intrusive friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:28:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25836517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WindInYourSail/pseuds/WindInYourSail
Summary: An annual trip with old friends from college, unrequited love, jet lag, alcohol, dark hallways… what could possibly go wrong?
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Original Female Character(s), Rafael Barba/Reader
Series: Random Barba One Shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558333
Comments: 7
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

Ana stared at the e-mail inviting her to the annual alumni retreat, smiling to herself at the rather liberal use of the word alumni. Technically they’d all graduated from Harvard Law back in ninety-six, but the trip was a far cry from anything school related. The cohort had been close, so close that eight of them had taken a trip together after graduation. The trip became an annual event, one she’d looked forward to attending up to two years prior. The demise of her marriage had been too fresh—her hurt too raw—she couldn’t muster the energy to be around people at that time, to explain why Matt hadn’t joined her.

He hadn’t had an impulsive fling. He hadn’t fallen in love with someone else. He’d cheated on her through the entirety of the relationship. His secretary was cliché, hers was cruel, both… that led to questions… questions she’d wished she’d never asked. The volume of women hadn’t mattered, she’d contacted Sofia while storming out of the house after walking into their bedroom to find him plowing into the twenty seven year old that spent her days sitting outside his office—the one she’d spoken to earlier that morning while hoping to surprise her husband. Apparently relaying a message indicating his wife would be late and to not rush home had translated to, fuck me senseless in your marital bed. The groceries for the dinner she’d planned to cook were left on the counter as she scurried out of the apartment as quickly as possible, slamming the door behind her as one of the top divorce attorneys in the city’s voice appeared through the phone pressed to her ear.

Ana sighed as her phone rang, preparing to hear that same voice once again. “Hey Sof.”

“I’m not letting you out of going this year.”

“I don’t want to explain what happened with Matt to everyone, it’s too embarrassing.” The divorce had been ugly. The man she’d loved, using his indiscretions to kick her when she was already as low as she thought she could possibly feel. Her best friend from high school, a cousin—granted not a close one, the woman three doors down from the unit they lived in—a couple other women in the building; it was like a dam breaking, one transgression after another flooding her conscious. Sofia had turned those admissions into leverage and Ana had walked away with more than a fifty-fifty split—much more, but none of that appeased her psyche.

“You won’t have to.”

Ana scoffed into the phone. “Someone is bound to ask.”

“It’s been discussed.”

“What does that mean?”

Sofia exhaled audibly, the air crinkling against the speaker. “That first year you missed everyone asked where you were, I filled them in to an extent.”

“How much?”

“Just enough to know that Matt cheated.”

“And last year?”

A puff of air filtered through the phone, one Ana knew accompanied her friends amused smirk. “Both Rafael and David asked if you were coming.”

“Is David still a floundering man whore?”

“Yes, but we both know David’s not who you really want to ask about.”

Ana rolled her eyes at the chuckle escorting Sofia’s words, Rafael had been an unrequited crush in law school—not that either of them had actually talked about dating. They’d never been single at the same time and they were friends. She’d seen so many of their classmate’s lives complicated by dating within their cohorts that she’d set an arbitrary line for herself. If he’d asked she would have said yes in a heartbeat, but she wouldn’t initiate. He didn’t either and six months after graduation she’d met Matt.

“I was merely entertaining the idea of getting laid.”

“And you picked David?”

“He seemed less complicated.”

Sofia chuckled again. “Have you ever slept with David?”

“You know I haven’t.”

“You’re going then?”

Ana exhaled as her eyes fell on the invitation. A week spent with old friends, quietly catching up in a small hamlet south of Siena could be the perfect distraction from the repetitive routine her life had become. “I’m going.”

Sofia and Ana booked their travel together. Considering they’d both lived in New York, traveling together seemed more enjoyable than traveling alone. Sofia was the one person from their group that Ana had remained in constant contact with. The two had become fast friends in school; it was one of her few friendships that hadn’t lessened over the years.

“Are we the first ones here?” Ana tugged her suitcase behind her as they entered the rustic villa the group had settled on. The hallways were narrow, but it slept six comfortably, offering an ensuite bathroom for each guest room and a large open living space to mingle in.

“Second,” David appeared from around a corner, smiling at the two women standing in the entry, “Raf should be here any minute. Chad and Tom aren’t scheduled to arrive until this evening.”

“What about Sam and Julie?” Sofia sat her luggage upright, placing her carryon bag over the handle.

“They couldn’t make it this year.”

Sofia started to inquire about their absence when the main door opened behind them, instead shifting her focus to the newest arrival. “Hey Rafael.”

“Sofia.” His head bobbed in greeting as he shut the door, turning back to the group only to settle his gaze on Ana. “It’s nice to have you back with us Ana.”

“I’ve missed this.” Ana had missed them, the group as it was in college which is what it appeared this week would be—not the varying couples that had reunited over the years. The one resident couple remaining had begged off and it appeared everyone else was single, or not attached enough to bring a date along.

“This means we get our own rooms?” Sofia grinned when she realized she wouldn’t have to share a room with Ana. They’d been the last to RSVP, settling them with the shared accommodations.

“Thanks.” Ana chuckled.

“You know you’re just as happy to have your own space as I am.” Sofia smirked, following David down a hall containing four bedrooms.

“We’ll put the late arrivals on the other side of the house, this one has the larger rooms.” David grinned over his shoulder, but no one else shared his enthusiasm for room size. It was merely a place to sleep.

Ana settled her things in her room, unpacking the items she wanted to hang while leaving the rest settled in the suitcase. The villa was set up as a vacation rental, containing all the amenities of a luxury hotel. She found small shampoos and conditioner in the bathroom, but only opted to open the hand soap. Her hair was too long for hotel soap, even if it had been decent quality—which she doubted—she’d go through the tiny bottle in two shampoos. Instead her personal products were placed in the shower along with the body wash she’d brought. She set out her toothbrush and toothpaste, arranging the rest of the bathroom and then plugged in chargers for her computer and phone—she wasn’t the only one who had brought work with them.

“Oh!” Ana chuckled when she exited her room at the same time as Rafael, the narrow hallway causing them to bump into each other. “You’d think they could’ve staggered the doors.”

“That would have involved actual thought.” He smirked, stepping aside so she could exit.

Ana grinned, having forgotten just how much she enjoyed his humor. “I’ve missed you.”

Rafael chuckled. “That’s because you haven’t seen me in three years.”

She continued to smile with her back to him as she led the way back to the main living area.

“Here.” Ana’s hand was filled with a glass containing a reddish pink drink and her nose immediately scrunched at the sickeningly sweet smell.

“What is this?”

“Rum punch.” Sofia lifted her own glass in cheers and Ana reluctantly joined her tentatively tasting the drink.

Her throat constricted as the sugar hit it, a cough manifesting as she attempted to swallow. “Is there anything that won’t put me at risk of developing diabetes?”

Sofia—the most intimidating attorney of the bunch—had never learned to drink like an adult. She took the glass from Ana, used it to top off her own and downed what wouldn’t fit.

David, who’d watched the short exchange, grinned from behind the bar. “I can make whatever you want.”

The corner of Ana’s lips tugged higher when she noticed Rafael standing next to David, lightly chuckling as he poured himself a scotch. “Dirty vodka martini, please.”

David nodded and began on her drink. It was amazing how similar they looked standing next to one another, not their faces so much as their build. David had always been broad shouldered, his chest and arms appearing muscular, but Rafael had been slender in college. Not scrawny by any means, just not necessarily muscular. He now appeared fitter. For all she knew he’d looked that way for years, but unlike her ex-husband she hadn’t been admiring the opposite sex outside of marriage. Their voices were strikingly similar too, but that she already knew. She’d constantly confused the two over the phone before the days of caller ID. That was were the similarities ended. Rafael gave the initial impression of a short tempered grump, while ultimately being one of the kindest men she’d ever met. David was so charming even women he’d ghosted had nice things to say about him, a trait Ana felt somehow made him more dickish. He was a good friend though, and since she had no interest in being more than friends she refrained from calling him an asshole unless he told a story where he in fact acted like an asshole—not that it fazed him.

“Is this the plan for the evening?” Ana took her drink, joining Rafael on the couch in the living room; Sofia and David taking two of the adjacent chairs.

David nodded, making himself more comfortable. “I figured with jet lag we’ll crash out pretty early. You can scout the bars for your Italian fling tomorrow night.”

Ana rolled her eyes, scoffing at him much like she had through most of law school. The display earning her a small chuckle from both Sofia and Rafael.

Ana refilled her glass with the pitcher of martini David had made and left behind the bar for her, chuckling slightly when she felt herself sway. The morning would be miserable, but after the last couple years she’d decided the hangover would be worth a little indulgence. She smiled at the guys chatting around the living room—the final two members had arrived shortly before dinner—taking the pitcher with her as she stepped out on the small balcony Sofia had settled on.

“This is quaint.”

The stonework surrounding them felt too big for the small space; that coupled with the view really let the idea of an escape to Tuscany resonate.

“Isn’t it though?” Sofia smiled while patting the seat next to her. “Why aren’t you in there flirting with Rafael.”

“I haven’t been flirting with Rafael.”

“I know, I asked why you weren’t.”

Ana rolled her eyes, taking a much larger sip than she should for how inebriated she already felt. “I’m not ready to trust someone again.”

“I said flirt, not make a five year plan.”

Ana glared at her friend. “You don’t have to be an ass.”

“You’d rather have sex with David then?”

“Rather isn’t the word I’d use,” she sighed into her drink, muttering to herself before actually taking a sip, “I’d just like to actually get laid.”

Much to Ana’s annoyance Sofia chuckled at her. “There are easier ways to accomplish that goal.”

“Not for me, besides David is safe. I know him and I know not expect anything from him.”

Sofia rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything. She knew Ana wasn’t thinking things through, but she also wasn’t going to push the issue—it wasn’t like Ana would actually put her thoughts into action. She’d spend the week mentioning the escapade during moments containing just the two of them, but never acting. Then they’d go back to New York, Ana slipping back into the life she’d filled with work in an effort to avoid the loneliness she felt.

Ana giggled as she stumbled over her own feet while reentering the living room.

“You never could hold your liquor.” Chad chuckled from the couch when Ana flipped him off.

“Where did Raf and David venture off to?” Sofia slipped her arm around Ana’s waist when she started to lean backwards.

“Bed I think.” Tom shrugged.

“Sleep sounds good.”

Sofia rolled her eyes, guiding Ana toward the hall their bedrooms were down. “Lets get you to bed then.”

“Jesus it’s dark.” Ana’s eyes tried to focus as they inched down the hallway, but given the age of the home and its narrow corridors, light didn’t find its way to adjust her eyes.

“I’m not going back for the light switch.”

Ana giggled at Sofia’s grumble. “You’re a really good friend you know that?”

Sofia leaned in closer, whispering in Ana’s ear. “I hope you still feel that way in the morning.”

“What?”

“Good night Ana.” Sofia eased the bedroom door open, gently pushing her inside.

Ana stumbled slightly, impressing herself when she managed to regain her balance. The room was as dark as the hallway, but she managed to find the bed easily. Her hands felt around the edge to ensure she wasn’t at the foot and then slipped her jeans off, stumbling again when she discovered her shoes where still on her feet.

She rolled her eyes at her own stupidity and eased herself to sit on the bed toeing the shoes off so the jeans could finish their path to the floor. She remained seated this time, her hand reaching under the back of her shirt to unclasp her bra. Her day of travel had only consisted of a t-shirt and jeans—she could sleep in the articles of clothing she hadn’t removed, and standing again didn’t seem wise. The bra dropped to the floor and Ana tugged back the covers, sliding in easily.

In the two years she’d spent sleeping alone, Ana had gravitated to the middle of the bed. Tonight was no exception. Her body rolled to face the middle, her arm stretching out only to be met with someones chest. Ana’s eyes shot open. The body next to her stirred, a small grunt escaping as he shifted slightly, but didn’t appear to have woken.

Her heart raced as her mind tried to piece together who was in her bed. Then Sofia’s whisper came back to her, suddenly making more sense.

This wasn’t her bed.

Her immediate urge was to run, but her hand was still settled on his chest and his skin felt warm. It had been so long since she slept next to someone. She could always blame the room mixup on her drunken state and Sofia—both Tom and Chad had seen Sofia help her to bed.

Her fingertips lightly trailed down his chest, venturing dangerously low, only stopping when she realized she wasn’t going to find the clothing she was expecting. Of course David slept in the buff. She was about to pull her hand away—deciding that sleeping next to him without his knowledge while he was completely nude wasn’t the best idea—when a hand clasped around her wrist.

“Jesus,” she flinch, tugging her arm back but he didn’t let go, “I’m sorry. I…” She glanced around the dark panicking. How did one explain climbing into someone else’s bed and touching them while they slept.

“Ana?” His voice was laden with sleep, but the grip on her wrist relaxed setting her hand back where he’d found it—dangerously close to an area she’d expected to be covered by underwear.

“Surprise.” She chuckled sheepishly, but didn’t move her hand.

“It is a bit out of character.”

“You expected Sofia.”

With that he chuckled, his arm moving under the space provided by her upper body resting on an elbow, a hand settling at the small of her back. “Sofia wouldn’t be caught dead in my bed.”

Ana relaxed. Maybe she could do this—have no string sex with a friend. The last person she’d been with was Matt and that killed her. The problem was, she wasn’t one for one nights stands or casual sex, and she definitely wasn’t ready for a relationship. Her hand shifted lower.

“Ana…”

The desire in his breathy tone cause momentary pause. Was that a good thing? She didn’t want him to want her—we’ll she did, just not beyond the physical act. Perhaps that’s all she had heard. It was enough of ajustification to make contact.

His breath hitched as she stroked him, the arm around her tugging her against his side forcing a startled squeak from her lungs. Lips met, but the kiss was more intense than she’d expected—her stomach fluttering enough to make her consider stopping things before they went too far. She shrugged it off to the fact that she hadn’t been touched in over two years, and deepened the kiss.

The shirt was tugged off and tossed to the floor and he rolled her beneath him, his lips trailing down to her chest as her hands shifted to his hair.

She hadn’t known what to expect from David, but foreplay honestly wasn’t it. She wasn’t sure why. Perhaps it was the simplicity in the idea of having sex simply for the sake of having sex. That it would be less involved.

His fingers caught in her underwear, tugging them down her thighs.

“Fuck,” she rasped when his tongue ran across her center.

The years he’d spent womanizing were definitely working in her favor in this moment. He swirled her clit with his tongue, gently sucking between passes only to swirl again. This time it was her breath that hitched when he suddenly changed patterns, quickly flicking his tongue against her nub.

“Jesus…” her groan was sucked in with a breath as fingers filled her and began rhythmically pumping. Her fingers tightened in his hair, decidedly coming to the conclusion that he wasn’t the selfish prick in the bedroom she’d pegged him for. Her hips jerked, but he held her in place, coaxing a few last groans from her before kissing back up to her lips.

He positioned himself at her entrance, exhaling as he slowly eased into her. Her body reluctantly excepted him, forcing him to pause while she adjusted. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah.”

He felt her nod against his shoulder and began pushing deeper, cursing himself for not flipping on a light. He’d like to see actually see her, not just the shadowy figure beneath him. “Ana, if I’m dreaming, please don’t wake me.”

Her body stiffened. Dreaming? Maybe she should stop him? It felt a little too late for that though. Besides, this was David. It wasn’t like he had some long buried, pent up feelings for her. David didn’t date, he charmed woman into his bed. Her body relaxed again, that was the simplest explanation and the one she’d decided to hold onto. It hadn’t hurt that he sounded so much like Rafael.

Ana pressed her lips to his, partially hoping to prevent him from saying anything else and partially not wanting to think about Rafael—it stirred a feeling inside her the she’d been content to avoid.

He pumped into her steadily. Any resistance between where their bodies were connected was gone, and she’d completely adjusted to him. His lips found her neck, kissing softly as she tightened her arms around him.

“Ana?”

Rafael’s face flashed in her mind and she felt herself tighten, a surge of warmth running through her torso. “Can we not talk?” It felt rude to silence him, but she hoped the strain with which she spoke would hide her true intent.

“Ok.” The breathy words hit her ear with a short puff of air and she squeezed around him again, this time eliciting a soft groan. “Can I say one thing?”

“Fuck.” She inhaled sharply, grinding her hips against his in hopes that she could intensify the feeling building within her. “Please don’t confess your undying love for me right now.”

He chuckled against her shoulder. “I wasn’t going to.” He arched his back forward, giving himself more leverage to thrust while allowing space for his hand to fit between them, his fingers circling her clit. “I am really glad you snuck into my room though.”

Technically she hadn’t snuck—pushed felt more accurate. He didn’t need to know that. “Uh huh.” Her lips found his again, effectively silencing him as her peak grew closer.

She’d given up on blocking the mental image of Rafael from her mind. Maybe if David had shut up, or if they hadn’t sounded so similar, the image wouldn’t have been there to begin with. And as much as she didn’t want to admit it, thinking about Rafael was helping her climax build faster.

“Fuck.” Her hips jerked against his and he quickened his pace, slipping his hand from between them.

He grunted out a few last thrust, before collapsing his body on top of hers.

“Hey David.” She needed to put her intentions out there. To let him know this was a one time occurrence.

“David?”

Ana’s eyes widened as his body weight pulled from her. If he wasn’t David then… She closed her eyes and exhaled, quickly covering herself with whatever sheets she could reach when the light flickered on.

“Rafael, I… I.”

“David’s in the room next door.” His intense eyes bore into hers and it felt like a vice had gripped onto her heart, squeezing so tightly she could barely breath.

“Sof and I were talking and David came up, just scratching an itch you know. She shoved me in your room… I just assumed…”

“I’m not interested in understanding how you ended up here.”

“Oh… ok.” Ana nodded, she’d been the one to fuck things up this time. Literally no one to blame but herself—except maybe Sofia.

Her eyes scanned the floor, settling on her shirt. She slipped it over her head and stumbled forward while standing to find the rest of her clothes.

“Great, you’re drunk too.”

She steadied herself, thankful that her shirt was long enough to cover her, and quickly grabbed the remainder of her clothes. The harsh tone he’d used stung, but had been almost immediately forgiven. She’d hurt him and she’d never intended for that to happen. Her hand settled on the doorknob, but she didn’t exit. Instead she braved glancing back over her shoulder.

“Rafael.” His hooded eyes glared up at her. “I may have thought you were David, but that doesn’t mean I’d prefer you to have been. I was thinking about you.” She didn’t wait for a response, quickly slipping out of his room and into her own.

Ana sat on the edge of her bed, half hoping he’d come through the door to talk. The other half couldn’t imagine that would work out in her favor. She slipped her underwear back on and curled into the ball she’d slept in for the first three months after she'd left her husband. It had been the only position that didn’t make the bed feel empty, or that her world was crushing down around her. It had felt safe then. It wasn’t the case this time around. Her mind wanted to schedule a flight home—for the next day if possible—but the jet lag took over and she drifted into a fitful sleep. Her dreams full of memories from the worst year of her life, only this time she was the villain.


	2. Chapter 2

Rafael’s fingers pressed against his eyelids, massaging outward along the line of his lashes. A soft stream of light filtered through the window, but he wasn’t rubbing his eyes due to light irritation. True it was partially due to sleep, but it mainly stemmed from having Ana in his bed. It had been a dream, literally living out one of his fantasies until she’d called him David. One simple word had sucked all the air from his lungs.

He exhaled, forcing himself to sit up in bed. The anger from the night before was still there, though not as strong. And he’d heard her as she left—that she’d been thinking about him. His hands shoved into his hair as his elbows came to rest on his knees, rocking while forcing himself to breath normally. He needed time and he needed space; two things he wasn’t going to get while sleeping in a house with his old college buddies. More than anything, he needed coffee. His mind was muddled, the left over effects of alcohol coupled with restless sleep. He wanted to feel like he could think clearly. The clock told him it was early, perhaps early enough to avoid the other people in the house if he were quiet.

Sofia grinned around her coffee cup as he entered the kitchen. Of course she was up, the woman apparently didn’t require sleep to function. If memory served, she never had.

“You look entertainingly disheveled.” His eyes narrowed on the tiny blond. “Don’t look so pissed, it was good for both of you.”

“Up until the point where she called me David, I might have agreed with you.”

Sofia almost choked on her coffee, chuckling as she watched Rafael angrily pour his own. “She did not.”

“She did.”

“She’d had a lot to drink…”

“Another reason she should have been in her own bed.” He huffed, taking a much needed sip of coffee.

“Can I finish?” Rafael gestured dismissively with his hand for her to continue. “She’d had a lot to drink and mentioned needing to get laid, throwing around this idea of David being some sort of safe option. She didn’t want David, she wanted you. She’s always wanted you.” Rafael scoffed to hide the first bit of relief he’d felt. “I don’t think… no, I know she hasn’t been with anyone since Matt, she would have told me. Matt shattered her sense of self worth, her security. She’s a fragmented version of the person I once knew. It’s all there, she just can’t seem to show it all at once anymore.”

“I seriously doubt last night helped.”

Sofia shrugged. “She needed a little push, you both did.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You both live in the same city and only see one another once a year in whatever foreign country we decide to travel to.”

“It didn’t seem right to feel like I felt around her while she was married.”

Sofia smirked into her cup of coffee. “How noble of you.”

“That could have changed now that she’s single.”

“You’ve had over two years to contact her.” Sofia was challenging him and he knew she was right. They would have gone back to New York and nothing would have changed, Ana had been the one thing he’d feared going after.

“What exactly happened with Matt?”

“He cheated on her.” Sofia shrugged, but Rafael knew there had to be more to it. The Ana he knew would have been angry, not broken, but how could he truly know… he’d never even been close to getting married.

“You can’t help me try to understand last night.”

Sofia exhaled, it was her friends drama not her own, but from how upset Rafael had looked in the moments before she may have owed him some explanation. “Matt cheated during the entire relationship, with countless women. While she was completely faithful, working on building a loving marriage, he’d done literally whomever he pleased. Sixteen years of believing a lie would screw with anyones head, but the divorce… that was brutal. He’d send her clips of videos he’d made with other women just to screw with her. She was so paranoid that he’d made one of her, that it’d leak somehow. The videos weren’t from a hidden camera in their room or anything, and the women appeared fully aware they were being filmed.” Sofia rolled her eyes for emphasis. “I assured her that if there’d been one of her he’d have threatened to leak it to get me to back down. Instead he texted her that their marriage had been nothing more than a professional obligation. I’m still not sure if he said it to hurt her or if he actually meant it, but I did research into his firm… not a single person makes partner without appearing settled. Needless to say I didn’t share that tidbit with Ana, but she’s not obtuse. I’m sure she came to her own conclusion. Once I found out he was partial to his money I use everything I could as leverage to hit him where it’d hurt the most.”

“I knew I was justified in hating him.” Rafael huffed.

“You and me both. I would have talked her out of marrying him if I’d had more to go on than a gut feeling. He was nothing but kind to her whenever I was around.”

Rafael nodded, remembering the way Matt would dote on Ana when he’d join them for trips, his mind immediately wondering what he’d been doing the times he hadn’t been able to travel. “Asshole.”

“I didn’t tell her whose room I shoved her into last night, technically she thought I’d taken her to her own, but I can see how she may have assumed it was David’s. Ana thought she needed a safe fling, something she’d convinced herself David could provide. I felt she needed you.”

“You couldn’t have steered her my direction without shoving her into my bed?”

Sofia unceremoniously chuckled at his grumbled response. “I didn’t actually think you’d sleep together. Given how timid you both are at dealing with your feelings toward the other, I figured you’d have an awkward encounter when she found you in what she thought was her bed, and that it might break down the walls you two have so firmly set in place.”

Rafael sighed, simultaneously wanting to be angry with Sofia—which he was—while also wishing the night had turned out how she’d suggested. He eyed her curiously when she stood from the barstool and poured the remaining contents of the coffee pot into a thermos. The thermos was set on a small tray provided by the property they’d rented—he assumed for the occasional breakfast in bed someone more romantic than himself would set up. Sofia added two coffee cups to the tray, followed by two small plates. She pulled a box of pastries from the counter behind her, prompting Rafael to wonder if she’d gone to bed at all, and placed a cream filled pastry covered in powdered sugar on one before turning to face him again.

“What would you like?” She held the box so he could peek inside, and while he wasn’t quite sure what she was up to, he still pointed to what looked like a chocolate filled croissant.

Sofia nodded and placed it on the second plate along with two forks and napkins. She lifted the tray and handed it off to him. “Go talk to her.”

“Talk to who?” David yawned, passing them only to frown at the empty coffee pot.

“Ana.” Sofia smiled.

David eyed the tray of food, quirking a brow curiously. “Breakfast in bed seems a bit much, but then I guess you have been in love with her since we were L1s.” He shrugged, filling the coffee maker with water to start a new pot brewing.

Rafael stared at the tray. He knew Sofia was right, that they needed to talk, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to. David entering the kitchen had only caused the tightness in his chest to return.

“I will drag you there myself.” Sofia huffed, snapping him back to the present.

Ana stared at herself in the mirror. Her head was pounding—the copious amount of alcohol no longer seemed ‘worth it’ and her stomach felt queasy, that had to due with more than just the alcohol. She’d royally fuck things up, hadn’t she? She really had. Her wet hair fell forward as she pressed her forehead against the glass, feeling more stupid than she had in a long time. The perfect mockery to come from the previous night was the realization that she wanted Rafael. She wanted him back in her life for more than the yearly reunion—to be more than friends. Not that she felt ready for that. She wished she’d told him how she felt in law school… perhaps she could have avoided Matt altogether. There was nothing from her marriage that felt real anymore, just a lie she wished had never happened.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid…” Ana tapped her forehead on the glass, “so stupid.”

She hadn’t dressed after her shower, at least not for whatever was planned for the day, a simple t-shirt was slipped on with the pair of pajama shorts she’d intended to sleep in the night before. She gave one last pathetic look to herself in the mirror before returning to the bedroom. She couldn’t avoid the others all day.

“You’re leaving?”

Her eyes shot to her bed at the same time her feet stopped working. Rafael was sitting where she’d placed her open laptop, the listing of flights back to the states left up on the screen. “I can leave in four hours if you want me to.”

“I don’t.” He definitely didn’t want her to leave.

“Jesus, Raf, I am so sorry.” Her feet were apparently working again and she found herself sitting in the space next to him. “I’m not even interested in David, he’s just the only person I know that has no string casual sex and I didn’t want a stranger and I didn’t want a relationship or complicated and…” her shoulders dropped with her sigh, “I just figured he’d be less discerning about sleeping with me.”

“David would have never slept with you.” His words stung more than she’d expected, it had nothing to do with the words themselves but the harshness behind them.

“Ok.”

Rafael’s shifted closer as he watched her shoulders shrink. “He knows how I feel about you.”

“You mean felt.”

“No,” he lifted her chin so she’d look at him, “I mean feel.”

Her eyes darted between his, her shoulders heavy with the overwhelming guilt of calling him the wrong name, for letting him in on the fact that she’d even considered sleeping with David at all. Even if she knew there were no actual feelings for the other man, she still knew it hurt. She knew all too well it hurt whether feelings were involved or not.

“I still think I should go back to New York.” She pulled her laptop closer to scroll through flight options.

He took the laptop from her before it settle onto her lap, setting it just out of reach and slid the tray he’d brought with him closer. “Have some coffee.”

“Rafael…”

“You can leave if you really want to, I’m just delaying it.”

Ana gave him a quick half smile and took the cup he’d poured coffee into, watching him pour one for himself. “I’m all kinds of screwed up.”

“I know, you wanted to sleep with David.” He playfully cut his eyes up as he passed her the pastry Sofia had picked for her.

Ana chuckled for the first time since Sofia had shoved her into his room. “What prompted the breakfast? I’m pretty sure you hated me last night.”

“Sofia can be pretty convincing.”

“I’m killing her later today, just so you know.”

“I’ll help you.”

They both chuckled again as Ana used the fork to cut her pastry, awkwardly holding the plate over the tray in hopes to minimize the amount of powdered sugar falling to the duvet. Her laughter subsiding as she made eye contact again.

“I really am sorry.”

“You’ve said that already.”

Her gaze dropped from his as she stared at the floral pattern covering her bed. “It still doesn’t feel like enough.”

“I get it and I’m over it.”

Ana breathed out a frustrated sigh, cutting her eyes to his in disbelief. “As someone who walked in on her husband banging his secretary in her bed, I know for a fact it isn’t something you just _get over._ ”

“The two acts aren’t exactly comparable.”

She flattened her brow at his apparent amusement. “I can still understand how it must have felt.” Rafael refilled her coffee cup, his lips turning higher with each annoyed sigh she emitted. “Would you stop that?”

“Stop what?”

“Looking like my self deprecation is amusing you.”

“You do realize you didn’t actually have sex with David.”

“But I thought I was, which means you know that I would have had it been his room.” She sat the pastry back on the tray. Her stomach was tied up in knots and the sugar wasn’t helping to ease the discomfort brought about by both guilt and the residual effects of an overindulgence in alcohol.

“I’m going to ask you a string of questions, only simple yes or no answers are needed, ok?”

Ana nodded, refusing to look his direction as she sipped on her newly filled cup of coffee. She didn’t need to see him to hear the humor in his voice.

“If Sofia hadn’t pushed you into my room would you have left on your own to find David?”

“No.”

“And do you think at anytime during this week you would have found yourself sneaking off to his room?”

“It’s doubtful.” She’d been talking about sleeping with him, but had no actual plan to make it a reality.

“You really can’t follow simple instructions can you?” It was a jab from their college days and her constant need to do things her own way. It was also less about following instructions than not doing things his way.

“No,” her eyes cut to his, glaring in an attempt to hide the slight upturn to her lips, “I wouldn’t have snuck off to his room.”

Rafael puttered out a small chuckle. “Would you have even talked to him about the prospect of having sex?”

“No.” She wouldn’t have even known where to begin with bringing it up.

“Then last night was just a drunk version of yourself being opportunistic.”

Ana rolled her eyes at his word choice. “That doesn’t change the fact that it happened and it makes me sound terrible.”

Rafael chuckled, watching her grumble into her coffee cup for a moment before his amusement in her annoyance subsided, his features becoming more stoic as a new question entered his mind. “Do you regret having sex with me?”

“Not at all.” This time she did make eye contact. She needed him to know that she meant that, that nothing about the physical act they’d shared had been regrettable. Her attention moved to her hands when he took the cup from her, inching himself closer. “Rafael…”

“Ana…”

His stupid, adorable, smirk was almost obscured from her peripheral due to proximity—the closeness alone forcing a quick intake of air. “I’m not ready to date someone.”

“Ok.”

“Rafael, I’m serious.”

“I know you are.”

His lips pressed against hers and thousands of little flutters swirled through her stomach, rising higher to her chest until she physically forced their connection to break. Her hands remained on his chest as she caught her breath, barely a whisper of her true feelings escaping. “I’m scared.”

“Scared?”

She wasn’t afraid of Rafael, she’d known him for half her life—granted they’d never been as close as they were in college. Still, her gut told her he’d make the most amazing partner for the right person. She just wasn’t sure if that was her. She wasn’t sure who she was anymore and she couldn’t understand why that was. It had been two years. Shouldn’t she have found herself by now? But that was only part of the quandary, the light side of a very unbalanced equation. The heavy part consisted of her loss of trust. Matt had appeared perfect. He’d had a great job, been attentive, would surprise her with flowers or trips, and randomly called or texted throughout the day just to let her know he’d been thinking about her. She’d been blindsided by his indiscretions. Not a single person in her life that knew of his improprieties had bothered to give her a heads up. The number of lost friends had been surprisingly high.

“Terrified.”

“Of?”

Ana exhaled, daring to make eye contact again. “That’s not a simple answer.”

“Pick the thing you’re most afraid of.”

Her fingers toyed with a frayed bit of fabric next to his neck as she thought. “That I’m not worth being with.”

“You are.” She rolled her eyes and dropped her hands to her lap. “I’ve spent the last twenty years looking for someone who could remotely compare to you. She doesn’t exist.”

“You could just be idealizing the me you knew in college.”

“When did you become such a pessimist?” His chuckle brought her annoyed glare from her lap.

“People change Raf.”

“You haven’t changed, you’re just a little lost.”

“Unbelievably lost…”

“Sometimes the fastest way back is to jump.”

Ana smiled at his smirk. “I’m not jumping into a relationship with you.”

“That’s fine, we can go slow.”

“How slow?”

“Have dinner with me tonight.”

Ana sighed, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth. “That doesn’t feel very slow.”

“It will when I force you to sleep in your own bed while you’re begging to cuddle up next to me.”

“Begging huh?” Ana chuckled.

“Uh huh,” he smirked his affirmation, “have dinner with me.”

“Fine, but keep in mind that if this works out between us you’ve set the bar pretty high with our first date being in Italy.”

Rafael chuckled, relieved that she’d both agreed and had managed to tease him. “I’ll find a terrible little dive that will make you thankful to be back in New York.”

Ana scooted closer, slinking her arm around his neck. “I’d like a nice first date.”

“Your tone has shifted.” His comment didn’t prevent him from snaking an arm around her waist.

“You said jump. This is me…” she searched for the word she wanted, her hungover mind settling on the only one to present itself, “hopping”

“I’ll take a hop.”

Ana grinned, kissing him without hesitation, squeaking out a giggle when he pulled her onto his lap. Rafael tightened his arms around her, softly groaning when fingers trailed through his hair.

“This doesn’t feel very slow, Rafael.” Ana tried to sound scolding, but the smile had take residence on her lips.

“Shut up, Ana.” He smirked, pulling her back to his lips.

They were both engrossed in the other, no longer awkwardly sitting in his lap on the edge of her bed. The tray of food had been glided deftly to one side as he shifted her beneath him, his lips never leaving hers. Hands roamed, but Rafael kept them over her clothing—pushing her too quickly felt like a bad idea. He was in no rush, the simple act of kissing had always been something he’d enjoyed.

A small knock was followed by her bedroom door swinging open, a humored Sofia standing in its place. “I see you worked things out.”

“Your friend is nettlesome.” Rafael grumbled, reluctantly lifting himself from her.

Ana chuckled, pulling herself to sit next to him. “What did you need Sof?”

“We’re picking out sights we want to hit up in Siena. Did you two want to join or are you content to stay in bed all day?”

“I should shower.” Rafael sighed, running his fingers through her still damp hair without regard for the woman watching them.

“You do look pretty disheveled.” Ana smiled, mussing her own fingers through the bits of his hair that were sticking up haphazardly.

He returned the smile, keeping his comment about the terrible sleep he’d had to himself. It would only serve to set them back a step and that was the last thing he wanted to do. He leaned in for a quick kiss. “I’ll see you in a few.”

“In the meantime I’ll have Sofia pick out where she wants her body buried.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He smirked, stealing one last kiss before finally forcing himself to leave.

Sofia smiled as he passed, taking his place in Ana’s room. “My body buried?”

“We’re plotting to murder you later.” Ana stood, making her way back to the bathroom to style her hair.

“As long as you do it together.” Sofia shrugged, smiling as she followed. “How do you feel?”

“Terrified, guilt ridden, hopeful… unbelievably confused, but mostly happy.”

“Why don’t you just embrace that last one.”

“Aren’t you the same person who quoted the failure rate of marriage as I was planning my wedding?”

Sofia grinned at just how much of a pessimist her friend had become, hoping some of it had been influenced by her. “You know I never liked Matt.”

“And you like Rafael?”

“I wouldn’t have shoved you into his room if I didn’t.”

Ana relaxed and started her hair dryer. Sofia lived in a world focused around failed relationships, if she could be optimistic about this thing with Rafael so could Ana—even if the start had been less than ideal.


End file.
